SADIA

 My love  Come back to me  It's been so long  My heart is full of the pieces i took from the bottom of other people.... ...they are just pieces...they always were ....i mistook them for what was missing in me Darling...i tried to fit them in me ...now i have cut myself...the edges were sharp...i didn't know...  I want it to pass ...the healing .. because what do I do if not heal ...isn't that the next suffering to heal ...i liked it when it bled...i had some colour at least ..

 There is some strange sadness kind of fulfilling. Is it okay to be brimming with it..how do I not let it be safe under my skin ....i feel like i am leaving something behind when i don't layer it on me ....i wonder what it means to be yourself ....are we supposed to forget them when we want to be ourselves...but i don't know what i am ..who am I supposed to be ...when i take it out of me...will it be eternally this way ..i hope it doesn't because one i day i will like to feel my skin as mine ...just mine...i will like to sit in the sun till i am golden ...untill my skin is crusty and shed off with my own touch .....will it be salvation or tragedy ....i don't even want to term it ...it takes a lot of space already in me ..i can't let it in at least words ...so stay with me ...you make me whole ...i ll sit it in the rain so you are deep into me ...i know you ll not leave me ..and i ll dress elegantly and keep you safe.

 I really need some space to jolt down somewhere ..maybe this is safe ...i don't know what to say ...the deep sense of validation is rooted inside so much that even this feels like addressing the people in my head ..i don't know those people ...can they talk to me ...or do they even listen to me ...i hear myself in my head and it's not a good space ..gotta fix it ..i spend my whole day inside of my head ....i wonder a lot ....i have been tagging my feelings ...it's like a cupboard in which i place them ..the top shelf is for the feelings i want to get nostalgia from doesn't matter bad or good ..the middle shelf is for feelings of day and night and the last one is empty ..i think i ll never place anything there maybe because i want keep anticipating those feelings so i don't feel like my life's ended ..